Based on my years of experience, both on the planet and in real estate, I have come to observe that, at the heart of it all, our search for a home comes down to finding a state of verisimilitude in our surroundings that is in harmony with the other elements of our life story.
A dictionary defines verisimilitude as “the quality of seeming true or of having the appearance of being true.” Frankly, I can’t think of a more concise label for the process of determining what is right for a home, or for pretty much anything in life for that matter.
Although it is an inanimate object, in a very direct way our home is a reflection of our identity and where we are in our journey at the point in time when we acquire it. A being’s relationship with home is at its essence primal, and I believe this is why after spending a few minutes at a property, we are generally able to get a sense of whether it feels like the right place where we can live out the next chapters of our life story.
This intuitive connection is then all too often brought into harsh contact with reality when a buyer is thrust into a multiple offer situation which forces them to decide whether they are ready to commit to a place they may have seen only once, and briefly at that. The analogy that comes to mind is marrying someone after having just met them, as perhaps in a speed date or an arranged marriage.
As with exploring the compatibility with a potential life partner, I am a big fan of people taking it a little slower and getting to know a little more about a property before jumping right in. The search for truth also has a lot to do with the disclosure process, which relies on the integrity of the parties on both sides of the transaction, as well as the skill with which their respective agents are able to assist them in discovering the key aspects of the property and its potential to fulfill the buyer’s intended vision.
This is where the due diligence and escrow process comes into play as we vet the home’s current condition and its history before getting into a long-term relationship. The responsibility for determining this falls partly on the shoulders of the experts we consult along the way, but ultimately comes down to a much more internal process.
It is only natural that this process varies widely based on each buyer’s personal needs, emotional and intellectual tendencies, but in most cases I find it ultimately comes down to the visceral connection you feel each time you are at the property, and it can be very revealing to observe how that connection changes on subsequent visits.
I have found that generally, you will find yourself liking a property more or less over time, and this trajectory is key in making that ultimate determination of whether you are making the right decision.
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